812 - What If Recovery Isn't Affordable?
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[00:00:00] Hey, hey, what's up my man? It's Athea Sam here. Welcome to Unleash the Mammoth Inn. Thank you so much for listening. Hope you're having a great day. Today we're going to be talking about what to do when recovery or maybe something else that you really want to do isn't affordable. I feel like in a lot of these spaces, you know, we don't really talk about money a lot and I'm, I do my best, you know, to have conversations when I can.
I'm going to maybe try to do them a little bit more often in the days ahead, because I think finances are very important. In general, but especially for, you know, [00:01:00] men as providers. I think this is a good, a good subject to broach regularly. Look, before I jump in, I want to make sure that you guys are resourced as best as possible.
And we've built a lot of different resources over the years. We've tried a lot of free trainings and booklets and PDFs and all that kind of stuff. Honestly, the numbers don't lie. We really just have one that has actually been successful. There's lots that have done okay. But one has been way more successful than the rest.
And that is my book, the last relapse. I mean, over 10, 000 people have a copy of this book. I would love for you to be 10, 001. You can get your free download at the last relapse book. com. That's the easiest way for you to literally just kickstart your recovery. And whether you're looking for a little nugget maybe of our system, or you want to just learn the whole thing in its entirety, which we recommend.
This book has everything for you. It comes with a free workbook as well, and it is fantastic. If I do say so myself, a great resource for you to really dive deep [00:02:00] to just I guess to not just read a book and read some ideas, but to internalize and apply the concepts. That's where real change happens. Anyway, get your free copy at the last relapse book.
com. Okay, let's jump in. Let's talk about what to do if recovery isn't affordable. Now I'm going to give you a, A very simple sentiment that is my answer to anybody who, who would ask me a question like this, where they say, you know, I really want to do something. I want to do a program. I want to do X, Y, Z.
I've been following so and so for years, but their program costs so much money and I don't have it. Here's, here's the adage. Okay. Here's, here's the statement that I want you to keep in mind. Anytime that you find yourself in this situation, you can't do everything on your own. But everyone can do something.
Okay, you cannot do everything, but everyone can do something. So this is a really [00:03:00] important concept. And I think guys get very pigeonholed into all or nothing thinking. It's like that program is amazing, but it costs 10, 000 and I don't have 10, Well, you know, whatever. I'll just wait. I guess, maybe one day I'll have 10 grand and I'll do something.
It's like, bro, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Okay, so there's a 10, 000 program. You don't have the money for it. Okay, no problem. What do you have the money for? Okay, everybody's got money for something. Alright, trust me. You put food on your table. You put gas in your car. I know that maybe some of you listening, maybe you're scraping by.
Maybe you're like, Cynthia, I actually don't have money for anything. But I, I know most of you listening that we, we know our listeners. I know that you guys have money. You have something available. Maybe it's only 50 bucks a month. Maybe it's a couple hundred a month, whatever it is. Not everyone can do everything.
But everyone can do something and that is the key for you, my friend [00:04:00] you know, if, if, if you cannot afford recovery then I would say you probably just, you probably just haven't found the right thing to do. Because the reality is you cannot afford to stay stuck that we know for sure, you know, the misery. The cycles, the shame and the guilt, the dysfunctional relationships, the lack of empathy, the failure to show up as a father and a husband, the low productivity at work, you know, the lack of spiritual life and spiritual growth, the lack of opportunity and promotions because you're not performing the way you could be like the list goes on and on.
You can't afford to stay stuck any longer. So you don't have to do everything. In fact, it's better that you don't, but you need to do something. And, and I would just say like, be, be a good steward, be responsible with your money, but whatever that means to you, whatever that looks like within those realms of responsibility, go out and do [00:05:00] something, further your recovery, because I don't, I don't think there's a single person addicted to porn that cannot afford recovery.
Truthfully, you just have to find the right solution. I know for sure that every single person addicted to porn can't afford to stay addicted that I know for sure Because the cost of divorce is exorbitant and we've seen it. We've had people come to us. They're like man I I should have you know, I was I was listening to your podcast or i've been following yourself on instagram You told me you warned me And now like i'm paying lawyer fees alimony and I lost my family.
I lost my marriage. You know, it was too late. And again, you know, maybe he was looking at programs that was a few thousand dollars and that's a lot, you know, that's a, that's a good investment into a recovery program. And it seems so cheap on in hindsight when you're paying tens of thousands of dollars in divorce fees, right?
So the again, the divorce is like an extreme example. But even I [00:06:00] mean, I'm telling you if we were to add up the amount of money that our clients have lost because they missed out on new opportunities, promotions, income earnings, you know, endeavors, whatever it would be in the millions of dollars. Millions and millions and millions of dollars.
So again, what if you can't afford recovery, you can't afford to not recover. So you gotta find something, you gotta make that happen. Now I want to speak to there's a smaller group of you where your issues have actually cost you money already. Okay. You, you spent money at a strip club, you're spending money on only fans or other subscriptions.
You're you're paying for sex or, you know, you're, you're spending money one way or the other. And now the question is, what kind of a steward do you want to be? Because we know biblically from Matthew 25 that people who steward what they have well get more. [00:07:00] And people who steward what they have, or who don't steward what they have, get less.
End up with less. In fact, it's not just that they end up with less. They end up with nothing. So the thing I want to ask you is, you know, if you spent money on pornography or similar sexual misbehavior, you've already proved that you understand how to invest. You understand how to use your money to get what you want.
In this case, it was to get pleasure or some kind of quick hit, some thrill, some sense of meaning or connection. Now what we want to do is we want to say, well, how can you redeploy your resources? In a way that's actually going to serve you in the long term. And again, this is where it's like recovery becomes a no brainer.
You just have to figure out the right option for you. What I'd like to encourage you is to, again, we don't want to reduce recovery to just a financial decision because I really think that should be secondary. What I always recommend people consider firstly and foremostly is how much do you trust the provider?
Okay, do they tell you the [00:08:00] truth? Do they have a track record? Do they have experience helping other people, right? But do they also maybe have an experience themselves? Do they, do they seem like the kind of people that would, that would really be people of integrity? Because let's think about this, right?
The goal of recovery is to reach a place of sexual integrity. So if, if we get in bed, quote unquote, to use a very appropriate metaphor, if we get in bed with people that we're not sure have the right integrity, then how would they ever lead us to a place of sexual integrity? It just doesn't make sense.
But conversely, if, if we find someone and we say, this is a, this is a high integrity person, you know, this person tells the truth, they do the right thing, their intentions are pure, they have my best interests in mind, that person is going to be the most likely to lead you to sexual integrity. And they're the person that you should follow.
They're the person that you should go with. And if, if, you know, it ends up costing you quite a bit, I think it's a good thing. I think when it, when it hurts us [00:09:00] a little bit, when the cost hurts us, that's when men tend to do their best work because we were motivated. We, we feel that financial pain and it drives us to commit.
It drives us to follow everything through. And it really, honestly, I mean, I mean, truly. It ends up with some of the best outcomes and some of the best results we've actually had I'm thinking of one client in particular we had a guy who who was about to buy an ATV. He had been saving up for it. And I, I mean, it was, I think it was a lower level ATV. It was maybe a couple grand. And he decided to do our program instead.
And, again, like, that kind of sacrifice, like, the, the dudes feel it, right? And he was super motivated, and he was super plugged in. He And he, he, he hit the ground running differently than, you know, if he was just kind of pissing away 50 a month, which for him would have been really cheap. It wouldn't have really meant much.
So again, I think it's good when it costs you something a little bit again, the bottom line here, Ken, what happens if you can't afford recovery, you can't [00:10:00] afford to stay addicted. You need recovery. So you've got to figure out how to make it work. Like I said, I understand finances are always going to be part of this equation, I highly recommend for those of you that are really serious about it first and foremost you consider trust because if you don't consider this component The risk you run is that you spend your hard earned money on something that doesn't get you the outcome And I mean, you know, we've had clients who've spent so much money on other recovery solutions and they're like, yeah I could kind of tell maybe something wasn't right, but I just didn't know what else was out there and we're like, ah, bro We wish you found us earlier so the thing for you is Is trust first trust first finances second, because if you know, the trust is there, the odds are stacked in your favor to get the outcome.
And those finances are going to be well spent. If the trust isn't there and you deploy the finances, then you are really gambling with your money. And I don't want to see you do that. So hopefully that's helpful. Again, if you guys have questions, you're always welcome to write us in. But in the meantime, I pray God's best over [00:11:00] you, over your financial resources.
And I hope this helped you with a little bit more in the recovery process, recovery decisions in the meantime. Thank you guys so much for listening. Make sure you get your copy of my book. The last relapse, that one's free. That one's not going to cost you anything you can get at the last relapse book.
com. God bless you guys. Have a great day. [00:12:00]