So here's the million dollar question. How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships and a meaningful connection with God? That is the question. And this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Sathiya Sam, welcome to unleash the man with them
what's up everybody, it's Sathiya Sam here, welcome to unleash the middle within thank you guys so much for listening. Hope you're having a fantastic day. I know I am. I'm a little bit under the weather. I don't know if you can hear it in my voice. But forgive me might be a cough or two in here. And yeah, that's just, that's just me on the mend here. Just wanted to mention is, for those of you who came out to our Austin meetup in Austin, Texas, obviously, last weekend, man had an absolute blast, it was so much fun. And I'm excited to do more of those in the future. I've been in Austin, I think three times now in the last eight months, something like that. And it's been fun getting to know more of my clients and just getting to know more people who are pursuing freedom. And we had a blast. So those of you who were there, much love much thanks. And for those of you who maybe aren't from the area, and you're going come on to the Help a brother out, we we don't really do tons of like in person stuff. It's just not really our Mo. But I am starting to pay attention now to just where our listeners are certainly where our client base is. And I'm dreaming a little bit you know about maybe doing doing some events from time to time, so. So we'll see, we'll see what happens. I might also just do a virtual event, that could be a lot of fun as well. So I have some ideas. But I'll have to keep keep you guys posted here as time goes on. Today's episode is inspired by somebody in our clients, I think he's I think he's one of our clients, somebody that we've at least been in touch with pretty regularly of late. And he was just specifically asking for some resources on addressing the spiritual battle porn addiction. And I really appreciated the direct questioning. And to be honest, I felt a bit embarrassed, I think we have done an episode or two. But I thought man, I probably should be offering more in this arena. There's there's many layers to this. And so I think I'll probably do an overview. Today, we'll get into one or two specifics that I think are going to be quite helpful for you. And then what we'll probably have to do another time is go through the the armor of God, and specifically talk about how the armor of God relates to winning or getting free of pornography and really just being sexually whole and healthy. Because that that Scripture is loaded. So I'm not really going to go into that part. If that's what you're looking for, you have to stay tuned, probably in a week or two, I'll do another episode. And we'll we'll dial in on that. But I want to kind of just give a little bit of an overview. So I grew up in a traditional church that did not really talk much about spiritual battle. Our emphasis was more on liturgy, and prayer, and those kinds of things. And you know, honestly, I'm so grateful for my upbringing, wouldn't change it for the world. More recently, I guess, you know, in the last 1012 years, my church environment has been a lot more charismatic. And in the charismatic churches, there is a pretty strong emphasis on spiritual battle, spiritual warfare, and just more of kind of the unseen world. And it's been really eye opening. It's been really transformative in a lot of ways. And it's also helped me understand the broad spectrum of beliefs, theologies, and experiences that Christians have, in this very complicated and sometimes convoluted spiritual arena.
I have seen people get set free of things right before my very eyes. In fact, the church that the first church I pastored, at full time, as the associate pastor, and I had made some pretty good friends there. And one friend in particular was a smoker, you know, and he hated it. But he had smoked for not enough, two, three decades. And that was just how he coped with stress. And so he went to a men's group one night, and they were just, I don't know, they were just studying the Bible. And they prayed afterwards, and somebody laid hands on him. And and I think, I think they had actually done prayer requests. That's what it was. And so he said, Well, you know, I hate smoking, and I really wish God would deliver me. And so if you don't, if you're not in a charismatic environment, you're not maybe familiar. There's a lot of faith for these kinds of things that God can do things in a moment, whether it's for healing or deliverance, or whatever it might be. And so that was not an unusual thing. And and so, you know, they all laid hands on each other and they prayed into their prayer request. And basically he went home On that night, and the cravings were gone, you know, like, incredible, you know, and so the next day, he goes to work, and he's stressed, and he's like, wow, I'm stressed, but I don't want a cigarette, you know, what the heck is going on. And it was amazing. And so I've literally watched these things happen before my very eyes. But I've also watched in those same environments, people, you know, make the declarations and get the prayers and not get the breakthrough in the moment. And so, I've had to reconcile the spiritual aspect of this because I think it would be foolish to reduce the spiritual aspect to the instantaneous breakthroughs, no matter how great and grandiose they may be. But it would be equally foolish to negate the power of God in the journey to a life of freedom, and sexual integrity. And we have to somehow find a balancing our middle ground or I don't know, we have to somehow kind of just tether everything and figure out what does it look like to really win the spiritual aspects of porn addiction. So at the most fundamental level, I want you to know that the the biggest, most fundamental, foundational and impactful component of the spiritual battle in any area of your sexual life is your connection to God. It is your connection. Okay, I'm not talking about your mental understanding. I'm not talking about your theological stance. I'm not talking about anything else. I'm talking about your heart, connection with God, nothing. Nothing is more important than that. Here is the reality. Any sexual struggle is the manifestation of heart issues, disconnection, loneliness, rejection, abandonment, insecurity, mistrust, trauma, whatever it may be, all of it stems from the heart. We need heart centric solutions to address these heart centric problems. And the greatest solution that you have is a heart to heart connection with God. There is a reason that in the last 20 years, 25 years, you have probably at nauseam heard the statement, relationship over religion, it's about a relationship. It's not about religion. And we have Christians who are like, Yeah, I'm not religious brother, you know, I don't, I'm about a relationship. It's about a relationship with God. And that stuff is all great, but we have to, we have to actually articulate what this means. So in our program, we actually teach people I think it's stage six of the program, where it is stage six of the program where we dive in, and we talk a little bit about, okay, when you look through the Scriptures where Jesus is talking about, you know, if you look at a woman lustfully in your heart, you've committed adultery, we look at scriptures, where Jesus says, Actually, he says it in the same sermon on the mount. He says, When you pray, or when you do good, or when you fast, do not do it, that you may be seen by men for they have their reward. Don't be like the hypocrites who do it to be seen. But rather go behind your your closed door, lock your door, do it in private, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you openly. We talk about what the Scriptures mean, we talked about when God says be holy as I am holy, what does that mean? And all of it all of it boils down to if you if you interpret the text, and of course, if you look through it through this lens of sexual integrity, all of it is actually Invitational to a meaningful, heart centric connection with God. This is where our spiritual battle starts. It is that we are anchored in Him we are rooted in him is that he is our first go to when we are in trouble when you're triggered, when you have urges. When you have a stressful day, when you feel disconnected when you feel lonely, it is that that immediate engagement, this will always be the greatest strength that you have. So it might mean that you read your Bible, it might mean that you pray, it might mean that you worship it might mean that you speak in tongues, if that's something that you do, it might mean that you go for a walk, right? It doesn't have to be overtly spiritual, it might mean that you listen to a podcast, or that you go create art or that you write some music or, you know, it could be that you go build something, but it's that while we are doing it, we are doing it with the intention of connecting with God. You know, for me, one of the most helpful things was realizing that when I opened the Bible, this is not about getting to know the Bible. It's about getting to know God. It's reading through this lens of how do I understand him better? How do I connect with him? How do I use this experience to enhance my heart centric connection to God? When I you know, maybe take 10 minutes to just breathe. If I'm in between a busy day and I got 10 minutes to kill. I'll just swing over to my keyboard. And it's playing. It's getting engaged with my keyboard by inviting God into the moment so I create, but I'm conscious of him. I'm aware of his presence. I'm inviting him into that moment. Because music is very very hard engaging, right? It's emotive. It's, it's personal. It's to the innermost parts of us. And when you engage with those parts, conscious of God, just just even just the consciousness of him as you do it, it becomes spiritual, it becomes rich, it becomes empowered. And we have to somehow translate some of these classic Christian colloquialisms of like relationship over religion, just leaning into God, just trusting him just, you know, just going deeper with God, we have to actually translate these into practical, tangible things that we can do in our day to day life, so that we are actively winning the spiritual battle of sexual integrity. Now, here's the second thing, this is actually not a battle. Okay? We do not fight for victory, we fight from it. Okay, we fight from victory. So what that means for you, and I is that we understand that God has already defeated the enemy. He's already conquered every single opposition we could face in this battle. And we just simply have to discover how we walk into it. How do we unpack it? And in doing so, you and I are not are no longer battling, but rather we are receiving. See, the real way you win this battle is from a place of rest. It is understanding what he has already done. One of my favorite scriptures, it's I believe, it's Psalm one. Sorry, it's Psalm 110, verse 10, don't quote me on that. It's somewhere in there. I'm going to try to look it up while I talk to you guys. But it simply says, The Lord says to my Lord, this is David talking. The Lord says to my Lord, Sit at my right hand, until I make your enemies your footstool. Someone 10 verse one, the Lord said to my Lord, Sit at my right hand, till I make your enemies your footstool. God is fighting for you. In fact, verse two says, The Lord shall send the rod of your strength out of Zion rule in the midst of your enemies, till I make until he makes your enemies your footstool, sit, relax, let God do the heavy lifting here. Lean into him focus on your part, which is building that connection with him and let him take care of the rest of it. Okay, this is not actually a battle, okay, I put it in the title so that you've listened. Because for some reason, Guy brain loves battles. We love the idea of conquering and winning and fighting, and you know, duking it out. But the reality is, we do it from we do it from a place of victory, not for victory. Okay? The third thing, you must understand that God is more is more passionate about you being free, and you being sexually whole than you.
Alright, we are not twisting God's arm hoping that he will do something for us, we are confident that he wants us for us. And that if we are tuned in, and if we tap into in the right way, that he is doing everything in his power to help us get free sexual misbehavior. And social struggles are not the thorn in your flesh. Okay, it's not the thing that you're just gonna have to live with for the rest of your life? Absolutely not. If that were true, then God would not have made statements like be holy, as I am holy. That instruction is an invitation. He is not saying, Hey, I'm holy, why can't you be more like me? He's saying, I'm holy, and it is the best thing. You should do it. It's going to make your life better be holy, as I am holy. It's an invitation. It would be cruel for him to instruct us to do something we could not accomplish. But it is true that we can't accomplish it on our own. That's why he's with us. That's why we need him. That's why we lean into him. And as we do, so he empowers us. He strengthens us, He guides us. Now, you might be very conscious of your struggle and the areas you're coming up short. But I bet if you looked back on the last 1020 years, and you looked at every time you prayed a prayer, every time you ask God to help you in an area, I bet you could see that he showed up in some way. Sure. Maybe it didn't get the full result. But I bet you he has shown up. I bet you there have been improvements. I bet you there have been breakthroughs. If you look for them, you'll find them. These are the things you want to be conscious of. Okay, now the last thing and maybe the most important thing, my friend who got delivered of his smoking cravings overnight, continued to work as stressful job and was busy and continued to abstain from smoking. And Week Four I remember I was walking outside, and there he is. He's laying one up. Hey, man, how's it going? Yeah, not too bad. Stressed. But you know, dude, okay, how are you? Yeah, not not bad at all. What's going on? Man? I thought I thought you'd stop smoking. Yeah, I did. But then the cravings just came back. And I was like, Oh, okay. He's like, Yeah, I just couldn't, couldn't hold it off any longer. Man, it's been really stressful. And I learned something in that moment, which is that it's actually getting the instant deliverance is awesome. And if, if that's your story, God bless. Like, you should be so grateful. I just want to implore you steward it with all you have. Because without stewardship, a breakthrough is just a moment. I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before, but a pastor that I really respect in our areas name's Matt Tapley. And a couple years ago, he said, the statement that has really stuck with me, he said, a breakthrough without a follow through is a moment without momentum. And so God could set you free. In fact, I think God does want to set you free, and it might be in a moment. But if it is, there is still a follow through that's required, there is a maturity that comes with stewarding that breakthrough. And, for our guys, what we've seen is that there's actually tremendous value from going through a system going through a process because as you do that, you build skills, you cultivate maturity, you build more meaningful connections, and you actually have an interest in infrastructure, and as a hardware to say, infrastructure that is going to help you long term. See, if you get saturated in a moment, not if you haven't built any skills, you haven't developed any more maturity, just your cravings are gone. But would you rather somebody who is able to stay clean in the absence of cravings, or somebody who's able to stay clean in the presence of them? Personally, I think it takes a stronger man to be free in the presence of the cravings. So do not negate the process that God has invited you into, because of maybe just maybe the skills that you develop the maturity that takes place, as you get free, just maybe that's going to serve you in other areas of your life, maybe it means you're gonna have a healthier marriage, maybe it means you're going to be a better employee, you're gonna get more opportunities at work. Maybe it means you're going to be a better leader, you can start volunteering at your church again. But this time with greater capacity was a little bit more stability in your life. So don't negate the process. Do not be spiteful of people who get instantaneous deliverance, God knows what he's doing. But if he hasn't delivered you, then he has invited you into a much more meaningful process that is going to serve you more impactfully for the rest of your life. So this is everything. For today. Guys, this is kind of the starting point. If you are looking for more insights on how to recover, you're saying, Sathiya, I know I've been doing this wrong, or I know I need help in this area. And I know that I need that maturation, I need to mature, it's time for me to grow up. Look, I want you to get your copy of my best selling book, The Last relapse, we're giving it away for free, you just have to go to the last relapse book.com You get your free digital download, you also will get an invitation to go to one of my trainings, there's a training online, you can watch that training to understand our system better. And then you can book a time to sit with me. If you feel like our system is going to be a good fit for you. I can pretty much guarantee you that if you're struggling in this area you feel like spiritually, it's still a bit of a battle. Or you know that you need some enhancements here, I can pretty much guarantee you that call is going to be unbelievably valuable for you to get the insights you need, and to finally start going from a place of victory instead of trying to fight for it. So the last relapse book.com is where you can get this, you can begin your lifelong journey to freedom. Sorry, let me say that differently. You can begin your journey to lifelong freedom. today. Thank you guys so much for listening. Have an amazing day. We'll talk soon. Bye bye. Everybody, it's the Thea again, thanks for listening to unleash the man with him. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free ebook that I wrote for you called The Ultimate Guide to porn recovery. It provides a basic framework for the recovery process and a few of my top tips completely free of charge. You can get it now at www dot ultimate recovery guide.com. That's www ultimate recovery guide.com. 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The information opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast by Sofia Sam and his guests are for general information only and should not be considered medical, clinical or any other form of professional advice. Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.
